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Magix 'n' Curses
..the argument continues

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Recurring Michael Jackson Syndrome


Chapter 0

Allwyn was diagnosed with Recurring Michael Jackson Syndrome. No, his world did not come crashing down around him. Frankly, he didn't give a rodent's posterior*. He got along just fine, thank you very much**.


Allwyn Kelvinator was an African-American*** from California. He was a pretty cool guy, and it had nothing to do with the fact that both his first and last names were those of refrigerators. He was the first and only black to be diagnosed with RMJS. It was a condition that the doctors didn't even know existed, hence the kooky name.

* I'm politically correct, you see. If Allwyn was narrating this in first person, he'd have used "rat's ass"!
** Don't sue me for plagiarism yet. I, err, hehe, seem to have "internalised" JK Rowling's works.
*** Same as (*). Replace "rat's ass" with "nigger" or "black".

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Chapter 1

Allwyn had a relatively normal childhood. He grew up in a predominantly black neighbourhood. He had his share of playground bullying, girlfriends, bike races, girlfriends, graffiti art, girlfriends. Did I mention girlfriends? His "romances" were dubiously popular and likened to houseflies. Noisy, dirty and rumoured to last only a day! But he'd never experienced true love. And to be honest with himself, he didn't think he'd ever experience it. He had a notorious image to maintain.


One day, he got news that changed him as an individual forever. He'd been enlisted in the US army. Cruelly enough, it coincided with the Gulf War. He was flown to the Persian Gulf to join the troops. That was when something strange started to happen to him. While his white comrades were getting tanned in the hot sun, Allwyn began to appear pale. With every passing day, his dark skin was getting lighter and lighter. It was a dream come true for advertisers of Fair and Handsome. Unfortunately, it wasn't around in those days. And so, Allwyn slowly began to turn into a white man. His vocabulary and mannerisms were the same though.

The army doctors were getting a bit worried. They suspected he'd contracted some rare disease, and they did not have the resources to test him. They had no choice but to let him go back home.
His family found it horrifying. His mom was on the verge of disowning him.
His friends found it hilarious. They teased him endlessly about it.
The doctors found it perplexing. They had absolutely no clue why his melanin levels plummeted like that.

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Chapter 2

Dr. Jill Nualove*, a medical student, a la Nayanthara in Gajini, started taking special interest in his case. She began researching skin conditions extensively. It certainly wasn't Vitiligo, as his pale skin wasn't patchy. She drew parallels to Michael Jackson's condition. MJ's case, though, was fraught with complications, what with his single-minded devotion to perform plastic surgery on every inch of his face according to tabloids. The only way to get a breakthrough in Allwyn's case was to work with him directly.

Allwyn consented to her request, and Jill began to conduct tests on him. She constantly monitored his melanin levels and studied their variation with his mood. By March, they were in for another surprise. His skin began to turn dark again.

*This name is dedicated to Shiv. She wouldn't need this link to understand why! :)

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Chapter 3

Jill couldn't believe what she saw. More tests followed, and he was found to be perfectly alright. Allwyn, by then, was tired of being a lab rat. "Thanks, Dr. Jill. Yer tests say I'm ok, n' I ain't stayin' here any longer. I'm goin' home.", said Allwyn to a visibly disappointed Jill.

The reversal of his skin colour had opened up more avenues of research for Jill. She was planning to submit a thesis on this unheard of condition, and Allwyn was backing out at the wrong time. She had to stall him somehow. Her brain was buzzing with all these thoughts, when Allwyn noticed her dejected look. "Ya alright, doc?", he enquired. A CFL bulb* lit up in Jill's brain.

* And this one's dedicated to her :)

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Chapter 4

Jill lowered her head, and said, "I think I'm beginning to fall in love with you."

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