Magix 'n' Curses
..the argument continues

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The incredible adventures of the pattikaataan pasanga

Sometimes there's nothing like making a fool of yourself. It is kinda fun though, I must admit!

Myth Busted
There's a general myth in class. Never have too much hopes of going out anywhere when gals are involved in the plan too. They usually have this Cans-In-The-Supermarket effect. One pulls out, and the entire plan collapses. For a change, yesterday, the cans were held together by the same charm that had been put on The Burrow (The Weasleys' residence for the Harry Potter ignoramuses). I was initially surprised to see the resolute look in their eyes when they said "Whatever happens, we ARE going". I later realised that the look in the eyes was not determination, but hunger. No one had brought their lunchboxes that day!

The Characters
Viv - The class genius
Maanja - The womaniser ;)
Andy - The Beef man :D
Me - the paavam appaavi fellow of the group
Maimai - The usual Guilty-Supermarket-Can-At-The-Bottom-Of-The-Stack.
Saucy - The official class padipps
Gee - The polished pattikaataan!

Adventure Sports
I'm used to walking the one and a half kilometre journey out of the college to the main road. Unfortunately, the others aren't. And you can usually trust the gals to sweettalk any chap to give us a lift till the Main Road in his car. Oh, and while the sweettalkers get the prime seats, some of us get the honour of riding in the dickey. Maanja and I were the Chosen Ones.

It seemed fun to ride sitting inside an open dickey of an Alto.. for about 3 seconds. My entire life flashed before my eyes more than a coupla times by the time I reached the main road. If it wasn't for Maimai, I'd be a goner today. My life was literally in her hands, as she held on to my hand tighter everytime I looked like falling off.

It turned out that she was just acting on gut feeling. I found out when, in a rush of gratitude, I'd asked, "Were you able to feel me slip out? Coz everytime I did, you caught me tighter.", and then bit my tongue realising what I'd just said. Viv, the only other person tuned in to my frequency of double meanings, was ROTSVSL (rolling on the share van seat, laughing)!

"Ok, we're at NIFT. Now what?" asked Gee, squinting at me as the afternoon sun mercilessly blazed upon us.
"Now we walk to Ascendas. Don't ask me where it is, coz I've never been there either!"

And so we trudged on further, and I was extremely conscious of curses muttered at me. Oh well, vaazhkaila idhellam jagajam! A li'l while later, the imposing building loomed into view. "Welcome to Ascendas", I said, feeling like a tourist guide, "The next big thing after Tidel Park". "Ooh, look at those fountains!" chorused Saucy and Gee. (The gals had switched to Pattikaataan mode!) Maimai gave us all a puzzled look.

"Ascendas is a Tech Park?" she asked, opening and closing her mouth like a guppy fish.
"Yeah, adhula enna doubt unakku?" asked Maanja.
"Err.. I told my mom I'm going to Ascendas thinking it was a restaurant!"

The Food Court
We didn't see any Planet Yumm sign. The gals started walking into the building campus. Andy said, "waitees da.. security kaaranga avangala asinga paduthaama irundha nambalum pinnaadiye pogalaam. Adhuvaraikkum let's wait!" He he, what'll we do without quickthinkers like him! :) Fortunately (for them) and unfortunately (for us), the gals were allowed in without a word, and we followed, feeling a bit disappointed that our hopes for entertainment were dashed. The first thing they noticed was a Cafe Coffee Day with plush couches. The first thing I noticed was a huge TV with cricket on!
"Can we..", I began..
"NO!!", they replied..
And I followed them to the food court sulking.

I forgot to look sad the minute I saw the food court. It was huge! We all gaped looking around, our jaws sweeping the floor. "Wow", I heard someone whisper. "Ooh, AC!", chirped Gee. He he.. the most polished looking person in the group was determined to do her pattikataan routine!

Our radars zeroed in on Pathankot. I didn't have to look into the menu to decide what I wanted. Paneer Cheese Paratha. I'd been floored by it the previous Sunday. I don't think I'll go into the entire menu. Paavama irukku ungala paartha :P

I guess it's an unwritten rule that Tech Parks must show as much geththu as possible. Near the handwash, Gee cleared her throat loudly.. "Check out this magic", she said and walked upto the washbasin. She stretched her hands and said "Open!". The automatic tap switched on. She gave us a victorious grin. She withdrew her hand and said "Close!". It didn't. :)

It didn't hear her properly it seems.

The Chocolate Fountain
This was the main reason I'd suggested this place. The chocolate fountain. You get a choice of strawberries, bananas, marie biscuits or chocolate cakes. the cut them into tiny pieces, put them on a toothpick and you get to swirl them in the chocolate for however long u want. Repeated nibbling and swirling was out of question coz
1. It's be too messy
2. The guy was fixing us with a nasty glare

Ha! It takes more than that to deter a chocolate lover. I swirled my strawberry till my arms hurt, made sure a lotta chocolate dripped from it, and held my plate under it to avoid a mess. I nibbled happily at my strawberry knowing there was a lotta chocolate on my plate to dip! ;)

The Invisible Magnet
I firmly believe there's an invisible magnet in the Ladies' Loo. They wince when they hear me call it that. It's supposed to be a restroom, they say. I hate euphemisms.

Wherever they go, they have this pact with the ladi.. err, restroom that they HAVE to visit it once. And it's amazing how they found its location so effortlessly considering it was their first visit to Ascendas. Reconfirms my theory about magnets. So while they flirted with the loo for a good 20 minutes, we checked out the gym (from the outside). I could've sworn I heard a loud "WOW" when they walked in.

When they eventually came out, Mayimayi sheepishly admitted it. "Couldn't control da, it was soo big!"

Viv and i burst out laughing. Watch your words around Double Meaning Specialists!

The Matter Magazine and the Great Insult
Next stop - Cafe Coffee Day. I was not gonna go anywhere without watching at least half an hour of cricket! Andy and I placed our orders as we plonked on the comfy couches. "When shall we leave?", asked Saucy. "Not for the next 30 minutes", I replied. The reaction on their faces gave away an impending whine-fest. Cosmopolitan came to the rescue! "Here..", I said, chucking the mag onto Gee's lap, "matter magazine! enjoy!".

So while they indulged in another round of pattikataan giggles, we watched Bhajji rip through England. Flintoff and Jones, cleaned all ends up. I think we were making complete fools of ourselves, and the guy in charge must have lost patience. The TV automatically switched off!

We looked at one another, shook our heads in disbelief, quietly paid the bill and walked out. As I walked out of the door last, I turned just in time to see the TV back on. HMPH!

Watch out Ascendas. We're planning to do this again! Especially the Cafe Coffee Day guy... I've got revenge in mind!

Monday, March 27, 2006

Jumping onto the bandwagon

What with everyone jumping on to the News bandwagon, and offering the same kinda stories and type of daily round-ups, I figured bloggers should start their own News service too..

Not a News Blog. Maybe we should branch out further.
Not a News channel. We run the risk of someone doing a Rajdeep Sardesai.
Not even a newspaper. It'd be an insult to compete with the likes of Matter Chronicle.

So here's what I suggest.

A news cookie!

We guarantee Breaking News

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Chennai Right to Information Initiative

Manushaalukku manusha mariyaadhaiye illaya?
Ethana naal thaan complain panneende irupom?
Public authorities evalo inefficient-a iruka, corrupt-a iruka nu ellarukkum theriyaradhu.. aana adhukku edhuvume seyya mudiyaadha?

Says who?

Do you want to play your part in effecting a transparent and accountable government without having it disturb your daily life?

Can you spend two hours a week volunteering from home / work / beach / coffee-shop?

Yes? Good..
Then check these out.. Link 1 | Link 2

Haiii! Vera edhavadhu information irukka ungakitta? Ivaa engayavadhu meeting organise panni idha pathi solluvaaLa? Naan kelambeeten!

Adha naane sollraen..

A one-hour meeting has been organized at 5 PM on Sunday, March 26 at
Altius IAS Study Circle
27, Eldams Road, Alwarpet
Chennai 600018

The meeting will be to bring together people interested in this initiative. The idea outlined in the will be explained and discussed. Please drop in to the meeting to know more and contribute your opinion. If you know anyone who might be interested in this initiative, please forward this information. Word of mouth publicity about this would be great, thanks! If you are interested and would like to attend the meeting, send in an email to chennairti@gmail.com.

For more information, contact
Email: chennairti@gmail.com
Groups: Yahoo Group - chennairti-subscribe@yahoogroups.com | Google Group

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Surya confesses

En paeru Surya. Naan oruthan thaan. Enakku bayam na enna nu theriyaadhu.

Adhunaala thaan naan eppovum vidha vidhama roles la nadikaradhu nu mudivu panninen. Appo yaen en kadasee film mattum ipadi ellarum pannra maathiri oru masala role panninen nu kekalaam. Adhu en astrologer pannina velai.

[Sorry. Due to technical difficulties, the coil refuses to suthify. Please swirl your head around a couple of times. Thank you.]

(A few months back)
Astrologer : Sonna paecha kaelu pa.. Namba director Hari nalla director. Andha padam panna oththukko.
Surya : Andha script-a padichengala? Regular masala kadhai. Idha yaen pannanam?
Astrologer : Sonna paecha kaelu pa.. Ororu actor-um hit padam kudukanam nu thaan yosipaanga. Idhu kandippa superhit. Act pannu pa.
Surya : Dialogues ellame galeeja irukku ya.. Idha naan panni thaan aaganama?
Astrologer : Indha padam kandippa odum pa.. Enna nambu..
Surya : Adha epadi avalo urudhiya solreenga odum nu?
Astrologer : Padam paeru apadi.
Surya : Padam paerukkum odarathukkum enna sambandham?
Astrologer : Aaru na oda thaane pa seyyum!

(A few weeks after the movie's release)
Surya : Yow! Unna nambi naan andha dabba padathula nadichen! Kandippa odum sonniye, aparam yaen ya flop aachu!!
Astrologer : Sorry pa.. Chennai la aaru odaathu nu marandhu poitaen!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

How to screw up your life

Tuitions taught here.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Harry Potter and the Squib-Maker - Conclusion

[That's the title of the 7th book? Didn't you know? I had to do long-distance Legilimency to obtain the concluding para of the Harry Potter series from the authoress herself.

Prescript (does that even exist?) :
I'm dead bored. College-la onnum nadakala nu veetukku vandhuten. Match-um delayed. So enna pannradhu nu theriyaama wrote this. The mokkainess is directly proportional to my boredom. Pliss echoos!]

Snape was the good guy after all. It was his suggestion to lure Lord Voldemort into the Squib-Maker. Harry recollected the last few moments in slow motion. How Voldemort had bent down to pick up a knut. How he had kicked him into the Squib-Maker and shut the door. How helpless Voldemort was when he emerged out of the contraption. A satisfied smirk climbed high on Harry's cheeks.

Ginny Weasley was so elated to see Harry back alive that she proposed on the spot. And Harry accepted, much to the consternation of the Weasleys. "But.. But... This is child marriage! My Ginny is just a child. This.. This is illegal!", Molly spluttered. "It's alright, Mrs. Weasley. We'll wait for a year. I'm glad the wizards turn into adults at 17.", said Harry.

The Weasleys had no choice. They let Harry stay back in The Burrow for a year, as long as he behaved and in Arthur's words, "errr.. stayed under control". Harry grinned and accepted. The next one year at The Burrow saw many changes in Harry. He was losing his magical powers. He realised that the bond between Voldemort and him extended much beyond what even Dumbledore had predicted. Harry realised that he'd been destined to be as powerful as his nemesis, and unfortunately, Voldemort was now totally powerless breaking stones in a Muggle Prison. Harry had to look for other options to cover up his debilitation.

Being an Electrician was out of question, as wizards didn't need it anyways. He was too frail to be a game-keeper and too much of a Squib to even hope to be employed by the Ministry of Magic. Carpentry, Plumbing, Cooking - Harry tried them all, and failed miserably. After nine agonising months, (No, Harry stayed under control. Read the sentence fully before you jump to conclusions) Harry realised he showed some spark with earthernware.

He started making pots and vessels out of clay and was beginning to get really good at it. Harry and Ginny got married amidst great pomp and ceremony. As was usual in Harry's life, every good news was followed by bad news. He realised that Ginny was irked by his magiclessness. She began harassing him, calling him a Good-For-Nothing creature, and hexed him often for being such a useless husband.

And that's the story of how Harry Potter became a harried potter.

Postscript (I know for sure that this exists!):
I'm trying my best to get a life. Don't mention it!

Friday, March 03, 2006

It isn't easy..

... being the son of a pair of overachievers who've come up the hard way.