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Magix 'n' Curses
..the argument continues

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Sometime in the future


It was amazing how some silly theory written ages ago by a once famous Indian author proved to be the key to cracking mind-numbing examinations.

Ryan had chanced across a dusty old book in his college library. Five Point Someone, by Chetan Bhagat, it said. He flipped through the first few pages, and did a double take. Did his eyes play a trick on him, or did he indeed catch the names "Ryan", "Hari" and "Alok"? He scrolled back a few pages and confirmed that he had, as a matter of fact, read those names.

Talk of weird coincidences. His roomies were called Hari and Alok too! He read the book completely and something in it lit a light bulb inside his head.

C2D - Cooperate to Dominate.

That was it! That was exactly what he needed to know. He was sick of cramming 3 CDs full of lessons. He didn't remember half of it in the exams anyway. He formulated a plan. Ryan, Hari and Alok needed to mug up only one CD each.

On the day of the exam, the three of them, having read only a third of the syllabus each, were understandably nervous. What if the plan flopped? "Relax", Ryan told the other two, "Trust me on this one."

Before entering the hall, the three took out an ink bottle and poured some into the bottle-cap. "We won't die, will we?", Hari asked, still feeling apprehensive. Ryan smiled, held up the bottle-cap and said, "Bottoms up!". He took a quick swig, swirled it around his mouth like a Wine Taster, and finally spat it out.

"Go on guys, do it", he urged. Hari and Alok followed suit, and shook their heads wondering how they allowed Ryan to talk them into this.

Inside the exam hall, Ryan was a picture of calm. He answered all the questions he knew, from the portions he'd studied. He'd instructed the other two to do the same. One hour into the exam, he was through writing everything he knew. Hari and Alok, fidgeted around in their seats, waiting for Ryan to complete. The three glanced at each other, and Ryan gave the smallest of nods.

Hari and Alok closed their eyes. A buzzing sound filled their brain. A message popped up in their mind's eye, that read "Ryan". They blinked once, as if to click. Immediately, their brain started filling with information they hadn't even studied. It was the portions Ryan studied. Alok then nodded, while the other two closed their eyes and read Alok's mind. Once they were satisfied they'd squeezed the last information from his brain, it was Hari's turn last.

With their brain loaded with information, the trio answered the rest of the questions with ease. An hour and a half later, the bell rang to signal the end of the exam. The students trooped out, some mumbling to themselves, some wearing dazed looks and some discussing the question paper with his neighbour. Ryan, Hari and Alok strode out confidently, knewing they had written a perfect exam.

"How the hell did that happen, man?!", Alok asked Ryan incredulously.

Ryan grinned at him, displaying 32 perfect pearlies spoiled by ink-stains. "Simple", he said,
"Blue Tooth Technology".

Saturday, January 21, 2006

History repeats itself


First things first.
A million thanks to everyone who offered to gimme a copy of their Rahman collection. If I need any particular album, I'll shout across for sure. Thanks folks..

But just a coupla things.

One - All his movie albums, I'm pretty sure I can get back in no time.. It's the other stuff that I'd gone around collecting, like his BGMs, his Ads, his videos, snippets from Bombay Dreams, clippings of his interviews, that I'm worried about. Will this make me become "just another Rahmaniac"? Maybe not. But it still leaves a lingering pinch of sadness.

Two - Windows didn't crash. My hard disk did. As in, reaching a point where it wasn't even getting detected in the BIOS settings. My removable drives were detected, my hard disk drew a blank. Tried it out on another comp. Same result. To make things worse, it made a noise not too different from an autorickshaw driving with a puncture. An unnerving "tak tak" at regular intervals.

Ok, I think it's about time to get back to what this post was about.

See the title?



See the picture? :(

Rimmed glasses, here I come!

PS:
I flicked this pic off the net. But my glasses look exactly the same, and the condition it met with is ditto too. Right down to the place where the lens chipped. Spooky!

PS2:
My blog is turning out to be a pulambal forum! :( Hmmm..

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Crash





Whenever I was upset, I listened to Rahman's music.

Now I'm upset because I'll not be able to.


My hard disk crashed, and with it went all my data. All the stuff I've been creating from 8th standard. All my pics. All the cool stuff. But most importantly, my painstakingly built Rahman Collection.

I feel lousy.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

A picture speaks 2 words




Happy Pongal!
Disclaimer: I flicked this pic from google! I have no idea who eats such a weird combo!! :)

Friday, January 13, 2006

Enna Kodumai idhu, Saravanan


While the whole world's watching the India-Pakistan clash, not even daring to press a button on the remote, here I am pressing F5 every 30 seconds on Cricinfo's Live Scorecard :(

What did Chennai do to deserve this?

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Jus a few things


1. You must be crazy to ride a bike in B'lore at 11:30 in the night.

2. You must be crazy to think wearing a loose shirt over a T-shirt will keep out the cold.

3. You must be me to do points 1 and 2 together :(

4. The more Peter the eatery is, the more galeej is the lighting.

5. Never play a game of fetch with a dog where the fetcher is you! Coz the dog ends up loving it, and will bite your ankle off its joints if you don't continue playing the stupid game.

6. Whenever a blogger Y becomes a regular reader of, say, X's blog, he/she becomes a regular reader of every blog in X's friends circle. It's like Y becoming a part of the family. And eventually, over a period of time, Y's friends circle (if Y is not a newbie) merges with X's.. One big happy family!

7. A gal accompanied by her dad finds it highly entertaining to stare at you right through the train journey. If you stare back, her dad stares at you. Then you stare at your shoes. Stupid game!

8. It feels good to find long lost things while cleaning out your stuff.. Especially if you find a forgetten and obviously well-hidden stash of money. LOT of money! :D

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Gotta Learn


I seriously have to learn to word those poetic, heartfelt greetings smattered with bombastic words! I hit a redundant high with "Happy New Year" and "Have a wonderful year ahead"!

well, Happy New Year! Have a wonderful year ahead!
*shrugs*

PS.
It's not everyday that I publish 2 posts on the same day.. Take pity on me and read the one below too, please. Thankoo! :)

Perennial Margazhi


The police, the scientists, even the Government knew they were dealing with something weird. Something so absurd, that it made absolutely no sense. That's what "absurd" means, but excuse me for trying to drive home a point! There was something positively creepy about the pattern followed by the occurences of these shady incidents. Oh alright, I'll get a move on it before I find more synonyms for "weird".

Incident 1:
Ajay and Priya, a young newly-wed couple, had planned their honeymoon in Simla. Their travel agent had completely muffed up, and these two didn't know how they were going to manage. "You are now sitting in Grand Trunk Express to Delhi saar.. After that Howrah-Kalka Mail from Delhi saar.. then jolly toy train Shivalik Deluxe Express.." the guy had screamed through the phone, as Ajay held his mobile a good foot away from his ear. Nothing made sense to him. He didn't even know a place called Kalka existed, which was to be expected of a person who had proudly announced "The Northernmost point in India I've visited before is Thirupathi", just before the trip. He decided to take things as they come, and was pretty calm about the entire fiasco.

Priya, on the other hand, was losing her patience. A stickler for meticulous planning, she'd found Ajay's attitude blasphemous. "How can he be so chilled out about the whole thing?", she wondered as she looked at her sorry-looking now-chewed-down nails on her hennaed hand. "What did the moron say?", she asked her husband glaring at him as if it was all his fault. Ajay smiled, "Not too sure, but he has a pretty madrasi sounding 'saar' for a Northie!". He raised his eyebrows in surprise when his bride let out a string of the choicest expletives. "Adi paavi! What happened to the 'mild mannered, sweet tempered homely girl' description on the matrimonial site?!" "Oh, Shut up!", she snapped, still glowering.

Ajay spent the rest of the journey trying to cheer her up. He made a mental note to pay more attention to Ferrari's He-She series. "That guy could probably be a life-saver!", he reflected. He gave up by the time the train pulled over in Bhopal. He closed his eyes in resignation, and drifted off to sleep. Priya felt sorry for him. "It wasn't his fault. Maybe I shouldn't be giving him such a torrid time." She had some pretty outrageous ideas forming in her mind to make it up to him, but none of them could be carried out in full view of the public! She had them archived in a corner of her brain thinking she'd be using them a lot sooner than she expected to. Afterall, they had the entire vestibule cabin to themselves! Ajay wouldn't know what hit him. With her mind finally calming down, she nodded off to sleep.

As the train chugged on, both of them woke up looking tired. A 36 hour train journey does that to you. Both of them remained silent, mentally willing the other to make the first move. By the time the train reached Agra, Ajay was feeling tingly all over. "This is a train, this is a train", he muttered to himself over and over. Priya was not helping things either, giving him a mysterious smile and a come-hither look. His mind was blanking out. "THIS IS A TRAIN, THIS IS A GOD-DAMNED TRAIN!" he frantically reminded himself, as they unconsciously moved closer to each other.

Suresh, the tea vendor working for the railways, always felt "There's nothing like tea to get you up and going". That day, while passing through a particular vestibule cabin, he realised there was just one other thing that scored over tea. The railway crew had a topic to gossip about, and were surprised to know this wasn't the first such occurence. It had happened before on the same train, and always happened at the fag end of the journey.

Incident 2:
Mohan Lamba had wanted to be an ornithologist ever since he learnt to spell the word. Before that, he wanted to be a bird-watcher.

He had been fascinated by the flight of birds even as a kid and had his future all charted out even when other kids his age were busy with Santa Claus and the Tooth-Fairy. He was especially enamoured by the path of migratory birds. The patterns they flew in. Their relentless pursuit of balmy conditions.

By the time he saw his 46th winter, he had built quite a reputation for himself as a leading ornithologist in India and had won great acclaim all over the world for his studies and findings. There was one phenomenon in his own hometown, however, that perplexed him. Birds flying in from Nepal towards Bharathpur Sactuary in Rajasthan behaved in a rather unusual manner as they stopped over the little marshy waterhole a few kilometres away from the Taj Mahal. These birds, he knew as a fact, preferred to "have fun", only between the months of March and June. But they contradicted their entire behavioural pattern as they mated like there was no tomorrow. Mohan seriously began doubting if the waterhole was filled with love-potion.

He was determined to get to the root of the mystery after he'd observed this for the third consecutive year.

Incident 3:
The police were baffled to see so many cases of rape along National Highway No. 2. It seemed to happen with alarming frequency particularly during the stretch from Delhi to the place where it intersected with National Highways 3 and 11. There was something definitely out of place. Even the animals behaved like hormone-driven, lust-crazed sex-maniacs.

Conclusion:
The Government had no clue as to what was causing all this. They knew there was only one person who could solve this mystery. Only one person who could give the perfect explanation. No, not Mr. Mathrubhootham. It was, in fact, a person who could give a suitable answer to at least solve the mystery, if not find a way to counter it.



Me! :)


And if you please unclench your fist, un-grit your teeth and take back all the abuses you hurled at me right now, I'd be glad to give you the answer.



Done?



Good.



I call it the Via Agra Effect!

PS:
Wish all you folks a Happy New Year!! As the tagline of the 2050 blog goes, May You Live In Interesting Times!

and oh, if you found any factual errors like "There are no
vestibules cabins (thanks Sheky) in GT Express", or "There are no migratory paths from Nepal to Rajasthan", my apologies. I take things for granted when it comes to my kadis! :)