Wednesday, January 25, 2006
It was amazing how some silly theory written ages ago by a once famous Indian author proved to be the key to cracking mind-numbing examinations.
Ryan had chanced across a dusty old book in his college library. Five Point Someone, by Chetan Bhagat, it said. He flipped through the first few pages, and did a double take. Did his eyes play a trick on him, or did he indeed catch the names "Ryan", "Hari" and "Alok"? He scrolled back a few pages and confirmed that he had, as a matter of fact, read those names.
Talk of weird coincidences. His roomies were called Hari and Alok too! He read the book completely and something in it lit a light bulb inside his head.
C2D - Cooperate to Dominate.
That was it! That was exactly what he needed to know. He was sick of cramming 3 CDs full of lessons. He didn't remember half of it in the exams anyway. He formulated a plan. Ryan, Hari and Alok needed to mug up only one CD each.
On the day of the exam, the three of them, having read only a third of the syllabus each, were understandably nervous. What if the plan flopped? "Relax", Ryan told the other two, "Trust me on this one."
Before entering the hall, the three took out an ink bottle and poured some into the bottle-cap. "We won't die, will we?", Hari asked, still feeling apprehensive. Ryan smiled, held up the bottle-cap and said, "Bottoms up!". He took a quick swig, swirled it around his mouth like a Wine Taster, and finally spat it out.
"Go on guys, do it", he urged. Hari and Alok followed suit, and shook their heads wondering how they allowed Ryan to talk them into this.
Inside the exam hall, Ryan was a picture of calm. He answered all the questions he knew, from the portions he'd studied. He'd instructed the other two to do the same. One hour into the exam, he was through writing everything he knew. Hari and Alok, fidgeted around in their seats, waiting for Ryan to complete. The three glanced at each other, and Ryan gave the smallest of nods.
Hari and Alok closed their eyes. A buzzing sound filled their brain. A message popped up in their mind's eye, that read "Ryan". They blinked once, as if to click. Immediately, their brain started filling with information they hadn't even studied. It was the portions Ryan studied. Alok then nodded, while the other two closed their eyes and read Alok's mind. Once they were satisfied they'd squeezed the last information from his brain, it was Hari's turn last.
With their brain loaded with information, the trio answered the rest of the questions with ease. An hour and a half later, the bell rang to signal the end of the exam. The students trooped out, some mumbling to themselves, some wearing dazed looks and some discussing the question paper with his neighbour. Ryan, Hari and Alok strode out confidently, knewing they had written a perfect exam.
"How the hell did that happen, man?!", Alok asked Ryan incredulously.
Ryan grinned at him, displaying 32 perfect pearlies spoiled by ink-stains. "Simple", he said,
"Blue Tooth Technology".