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Magix 'n' Curses
..the argument continues

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Baying for blood


The victim did not feel too hungry that day. He decided to skip his regular eating joint, and went to a store jus a few yards away.

The hunter had set sight on him even as he walked into the store. A gleam of malevolence flickered in the hunter's eyes. He hadn't forgotten the torture he'd underwent almost a year back. He decided to wait, before he went in for the kill. He noticed the victim ordering a cool drink. "Some fattening up won't hurt", he thought to himself.

But the victim seemed to be taking an awfully long time to finish his drink. Frustrated, the hunter lost patience and moved in with the agility of a predator.

"Dei, first year-a?"

The victim turned around, raised his eyebrow and mouthed "Third year".

The hunter felt his heart drop to his stomach. "A.. A.. Anna, sorry nna! Didn't know!", he said white-faced and feeling completely embarrassed.

The victim only smiled.

Behind the scenes:
Thought I'd skip lunch that day and went to the campus store instead. There were a coupla second years hissing "you think he's a fresher?". One of them mustered enough courage to ask me if I was. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face when he realised he'd come so close to trying to rag a senior! :) Nor the look of embarrassment on his face when I said, "Mech, right? Chill.. free-a vidu" as I went back to class.

Further behind the scenes. So far behind, it's actually in the victim's mind:
Damn!! Do I look like a first year? :(

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Bus. That's enough.


After having performed one of my best manoeuvres, I felt extremely pleased with myself to have pulled out a tricky move like that under immense pressure.

Hmph!! Like Li'l Red Riding Hood would say, "My! What a dirty mind you have!". I was talking about something I did in the bus. Gosh, stop smirking! I know it sounds bad, but it isn't. Trust me!


Travelling in Chennai's public transport bus is an experience by itself. Ah, I see a few of you nodding your heads. Those of you who didn't nod, what a shame. You're missing out on something amazing in life. Awww, don't feel bad already. Tell you what, I'll teach you something fun. Look up at the ceiling, and try to make out any black spots. Done? Now look down at the floor and look for the same black spot. Can't see anything? Then try repeating the whole exercise very fast. Aaah, I see you nodding. You don't feel too left out now, do you? :)

So where was I? Yeah, travelling in an MTC bus. These guys at MTC have so many things to be proud about.

Everywhere we go, we have banners and posters urging us to keep the city green. But it's also an unwritten rule that only an MTC bus can give Rajnikanth a run for his money when it comes to emanating smoke. So what do they do? They paint their buses green. Ingenious!

They also have the dubious distinction of being the only place where my Airtel network has absolutely no signal!

Developed countries boast of buses with automatic doors. But buses in Chennai go a step further, and have an automatic ushering system in place. In plain terms, it means you don't have to move a muscle, and yet you get off the bus and on it. All automatically. Jus make sure you're positioned strategically near the door. And a surging mass of human bodies pushing against each other will do the rest.

A bit like apparition in Harry Potter parlance. You stand near the door and stare hard at the position outside you wanna be in. Destination, Determination, Deliberation. Everything goes black. You're pressed hard from all directions. You can't breathe. You feel as if there are iron bands tightening around your chest. And before you know it, you're outside. Experiencing the indescribable delight of finally having enough space to move your little finger.

Chennai buses also boast of being the only ones in the world possessing a physics-defying centre of gravity. It travels tilted at 45 degrees, and still doesn't topple over. The drivers are known to tilt their faces at an awkward angle and stare wide-eyed when back on firm ground. This has also known to have earned them a few slaps along the way from ladies who suspected the poor drivers to have ogled lecherously at them. The poor devils.

Trust me to completely forget what I start off with and ramble on about matters immaterial. You've already forgotten what I said in the first para, haven't ya? :) I don't blame you!

So there I was, suffocating in a bus packed like a can of sardines. And stuck right in the middle, not able to move an inch either way. I could sense I was two stops away from my destination. But there was no way I'd have been able to get to either of the doors. Before I knew it, I'd reached my destination. It was now or never. There was a huge bunch of kids huddled together with their big schoolbags near the door. They were making things worse for me.

*Clink*. The sound of hope. The sound of reassurance. The sound of a one rupee coin falling to the floor. The man next to me bent down to pick it up. I saw light. A bright, streaming beam from the doorway, showing me the way. The next thing I knew, I had R Kelly's "I believe I can fly" running in my head as I took the leap. Like a slingshot, coiling back with the overhead bar for support and then.. That perfect jump over the guy's head to land at the doorway shocking a few kids in the process.

The Automatic Ushering System took over. I apparated outside to breathe the fresh air of freedom. To move my little finger. And more! :)

Sigh. Why do they call it MTC if it's anything but empty?

Sunday, August 21, 2005

The sign


I don't believe in signs, urban legends or superstitions. Touchwood for that. :)

But sometimes, the coincidences are so freaky, you'd unconsciously look up at the sky and ask "Are you trying to tell me something?" to no one in particular. It happened to me recently. Even for someone like me who likes to take life as it comes and not worry about the future much, coz well, I'm too lazy to, the standard question - "So, what's next? What do you plan to do after BE?" tends to get you worried. With almost everyone I know doing some course or the other at some institution or the other, I started to panic wondering if doing nothing other than my BE would hamper my chances of getting into some company or the other.

So after a major session of self-introspection where I reviewed the useful things I've done in my life (It took me a surprisingly short time to do that, which only worried me more), and another session with my dad where the keywords were "repent", "arrear", "90%" and "effort" (Oh ok, those were the only words that sleepy-headed me was able to make out as my dad chose to wake me up from my sleep to give me the "dad to son lecture" that's customary after a major screw-up), I'd made up my mind about further studies and had a rather rough sketch of what I intend to do after UG.


However, as is the wont of important decisions, it's only after you've made up your mind that people start giving you contradictory opinions, and you start to panic again as doubts start creeping in. Gits! What pleasure do they get by listening to my tirade about why further studies is the better choice oh so patiently and then coolly telling me "Sigh, there are so many people unable to get jobs after their MS or MBA and have no option but to keep studying till they get one".

This was while I was waiting for a bus to college. I started to wonder if I should perhaps try to get a job through campus placement (if at all we have such a thing!!). My mind was furiously looking for answers. And searching so desperately that I half-expected the buffalo ambling across my path to turn around and give me a suggestion.
That was when I got the sign in full glory.

A staff bus of a rather reputed company (which I shall not name in fear of getting dooced even before I get a chance to get employed there) stopped at the traffic light. I could see sad looking faces, looking at the outside world with the same expression I've seen on dogs when they're taken to the dog pound. There's no sadder sight, believe me. A few looked as if they'd resigned to fate and kept sighing from time to time (It might have been a yawn, but my mind chose to interpret it as a sigh). Then came the clincher. As my eyes darted towards the roof of the bus, I saw two words in bold. Two words that best described the expressions on the employees' faces.

The letter 'B' had mysteriously disappeared in "SPARE BUS".

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Hear Ye, Hear Ye..




No wait.. We only have a seminar hall. That should do for the time being I guess..
Ok folks, desperate times call for desperate measures.

The CSE and IT departments of KCG College of Technology are organising CSEismic '05, a National Level Technical Symposium on 19th August, 2005.

For further details, visit the CSEismic website. (pssst, urs truly was involved in it too)
Thanks ppl! And be there!


and here's the second announcement.
Nirenjan has a request for you guys.

Netru Indru Naalai

By now, I guess most of you would be knowing about A. R. Rahman's programme on Monday the 15th at Jeppiar College of Engineering.

Anyway, there's a practice session tomorrow (the 14th), and the Chennai Traffic Task Force and the Citizens for Safe Roads are practicing for regulating the traffic flow.

More here...

Unfortunately I'll be missing "Netru Indru Naalai", the musical extravaganza on Independence day, coz, well, I've already registered to go elsewhere. Yeah, the same "15th August Grandeur Event" that Krithika was talking about! :)

Poga thaan mudiyala.. Mani Ratnam, AR Rahman-kaaga idhavadhu pannalaame-nu me koovings here. Please check it out, and if you make it to the show, do let me know how it was! :)


Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Framed


He: Hey! Check out those new glasses!
Me: ada paavi! Glasses maathi romba naal aaguthu da!
He: hehe, ippo thaan gavanichen..
Me: That's ok. oru vidhathula nalladhu thaan, my prev pair of glasses were so dirty, it was garnering attention for all the wrong reasons.
He: aamama, pithalai-la pannina maathiri irundhudhu oru stage-la!
Me: Shoo, ketaena?
He: So what's up with this? Rimless ellam potu kalakarae?
Me: Jus' for kicks. But knowing how careless I can be, I was very apprehensive about buying this one. Kannaadi-na odayum niye marandhu poi handle pannuven.
He: So how much does it cost?
Me: Came to around 1.9k da..
He: (jaw drops) As in 19 followed by 2 zeroes?
Me: Naethu varaikkum 1.9k ku adhaan artham.
He: Yaen da ivalo costly?
Me: Frame-ae semma costly da.. Some 900 odd bucks. Idhula plastic lens vera. Poraadhathukku anti-glare ellam vera poturukku.
He: (thinking deeply)
Me: What in the thinking you?
He: (Removes his glasses) Indha frame paar. Costs 200 Rs.
Me: Ok...?
He: (Removes my glasses, examines it very carefully)
Me: Dei, ennada pannrae?
He: illaadha oru frame-ku yaen da 900 Rs?


Friday, August 05, 2005

Resolved


One minute, I'm faced with doubts, confusion, choices, decisions, insecurity, uncertainity and a few more such words from the thesaurus.

The next minute, it all clears up like bright and glorious sunshine cutting through a murky fog. Extremely relieved. Like a constipated patient who's just found a cure!
ugh, pardon the analogy.. but me happy :)

Thanks da Prav..

PS.
I did something really useful in class. But I'm afraid to talk about it here. Coz it involves bad language. Why did my blog have to have a U certificate? :(

PPS.
Higher Studies. In case ur wondering what the doubts were about..

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Young 'uns


An eagle's young one is called an eaglet.

A pig's young one is called a piglet.

Going by the same logic, if the Times Of India (TOI) group were to bring out a newspaper/supplement especially for kids, would it be called Toilet?

PS.
Leonardo Da Vinci was truly the first person to think of contact lenses.. Paavam, avarukku kudukka vendiya credit-a ozhunga kudukanam!