Monday, February 28, 2005
Inspiration from desperation
It's been one quirky day. Power failure at 3 in the morning. There went my sleep for the rest of the night! The mosquitoes rubbed the fact in hard. Not jus rubbed, no. That wouldn't do, would it? They made sure they left a "lasting impression". Damn them. Enakke kadi! I hate cocky pests.The only way I kept myself sane till daylight was by making spoofs of popular nursery rhymes. Here's one :
Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?Things didn't get better on my way to college either. (Oh, btw, I didn't complete the assignment, nor did I study for the test!)Something really ought to be done for public transportation along the Old Mahabalipuram Road (OMR). Half the software giants have their offices along the OMR. Giving them stiff competition is the number of colleges. Spread throughout the OMR, it ain't called the IT Corridor for nuthin'. My college's situated in an area called "Karapakam". No, not Car-Parking.. come on, say it out loud.. Kar-a-pak-kam. See, not too difficult, is it? :)Oops. I keep digressing. I got too caught up with all those stats. Should stop seeing all those Vijaykanth movies! My bad.So where was I? Yeahh.. pathetic public transport. With so many ppl going along that stretch, the least the state could do was let an extra bus ply along the route. But ooooh, no. Now that wouldn't show us who's the boss. There was this blog I read mentioning crowded buses and footboard travellers. But I disagree with him on this point - "If people are getting late , they should leave in time so as to avoid such a mad scramble,"Eppo kilambinaalum, bus irundha dhaane poga mudiyum! And it was this that forced me to take a (relatively empty) bus to PTC Quarters. That's not even 3/4ths the distance to my college. Once I got down, I waited and waited and well.. waited some more! Couldn't see a single bus going my way. Nothing but sheer frustration could have led me to write this piece. And to think I knew this particular type of poetry existed, only a few days ago!Stranded on the road;Not a bus in sight - Dammit!Should I hitch-haiku? :)Now that I've made a complete mockery of a traditional form of poetry, I must ask you to pardon me. Couldn't help it. :) So anyways, I did get a bus eventually and reached college safe, sound and disheveled.The first hour was the test. It took me jus' one glance at the question paper to realise I'd be making a lot more at my neighbour's paper. And it took me one glance too many at the neighbour's paper to almost get myself in trouble. Pretended to ask him for his pencil even as the invigilator threw me a furious stare! :) But it was a moment of realisation.1. I should prepare better for exams. Ok, lemme put it this way. I should prepare for exams!2. My glasses don't work. Which means, (gasp!) my power's shooting up! (or is it down? I have shortsight! And it could only go down from -1.)I had put away the only answer I knew for the end. I realised it after the exam. Damn! How careless could I get? And that prompted yet another verse (you might also wanna spell it "worse").I'm a careless guy, Aww, I admit I'm negligent.Sometimes I even forget,To get back the money I lent.But I have a doubt,An unintended kadi.Is a careless woman,Called a negli-lady? :)And poor Aswin bore the complete brunt of my inspired kadi spree. I took pity on him after a while, I felt he was a dam - ready to burst (tears/rage.. I didn't wanna debate. He had my sympathies!).There was one more kadi. But I'll save it for my Corny Curses' Corner, shall I? It's due for an update tomorrow! :)The lab in the afternoon was actually fun! Can't believe I'm actually saying this considering how much I dread those 3 hours every Monday. Stuck with 3 gals for batchmates, I normally just sit in a corner and rue my sad fate. :) But today, I thought I'd take revenge. If not revenge, at least have some fun! So I innocently asked H, "Hey, nee thaane namba class cul sec (culturals secretary)? Lab-la enna pannrae? Jolly-a OD vaangeetu oor suthradha vittutu inga enna velai unakku?"H : (eyes brightening) Enna da sollrae? OD-a? kudupaangala?Me: Of course! Naan evalo vaati OD adichutu escape aairukaen. Unakku idha vida better chance kidaikaadhu.H : Tempting-a thaan irukku... paravaliya da?Me: Naana irundha ipadi ketutu ellam iruka maaten. You don't get such opportunities everyday, do ya?H : Hmmmm, nalla thaan idea kudukarae. Aana experiment?Me: (This is where the devil kicked in!) Adhu nee miss pannuvae.H : (more to herself) Hmmm, 3 hours... Jolly-a oor suthalaam...Me: Idhu thaan most important experiment. Exam-ku vandha pei muzhi muzhipae!H : Dei! Yaen da ipadiyum soleetu apadiyum sollrae? Ippo naan pogatuma vendaama?Me: Po po! Naan aavadhu nimadhiya irukaen!! :)This is where I think I pushed my luck too far. My plan backfired when she had a brainwave.H : Idea! Naan one hour-ku oor sutheetu aparam ungaloda vandhu experiment pannraen! Connections.. problem illa, reading mattum thaane paarkanam!Do'h! :(So I was left to myself, inserting the stupid wires in the stupid bread boards making stupid connections. I was feeling jealous. Couldn't stand the fact that someone was out there enjoying while I was made to do such dreary things. My thoughts drifted.. I wondered what'll happen if the circuit board felt jealous.Wire-u pathikittu eriyum. Vera enna? :)
Check your damn eyesight, I'm a bloody bull!
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Time to change...
I have preconceived notions about everything in the world. Even those I know nothing of.Microsoft has to thank me for it in a way. I've been so loyal to MS and Bill Gates, you'd think I'm being paid for being so. Whenever one of my friends asks "Linux poturukiya da?", I go into an extremely defensive shell and retort, "No thank you. Naan Microsoft rasigan. I'd rather stick with Windows."I have no clue about all these Open Source thingies (and I call myself a Comp Sci student, bah!). Nor am I interested (vetti bandha.. don't mind! I surely wouldn't mind a lesson or two!).But for once, I've looked beyond my prejudice. I've come outta the stupid li'l cocoon I've built around myself. I've decided to bear the big blow to my ego(!!) considering it's worth it.Internet Explorer sucks!I had to make the change ever since the stupid spywares and adwares started to run amok in my comp. I grudgingly switched to Firefox. Is it brilliant or what! Better security, more workspace, a speed that's not so bad, tabbed browsing... I was impressed. Been using it for more than 4 months. But I still didn't go telling this to everyone thinking, errr... well, that I'm betraying MS! I can be stupid. (yeah yeah, u knew it all along.. I know!)Something happened yesterday that shattered the last shred of fondness I had for IE. I came across a brilliant Java Script that let me have a collapsible Fave Links List. I tweaked around with it and made it blend in completely with my sidepane. I was proud of my work and it worked rather well when I checked it out.But I had a nagging suspicion I screwed up somewhere. Checked up with a few ppl, and my paranoia proved right. My fave links list jus' vanished on IE! Breaking into beads of sweat, I opened my blog in IE and scrolled right down to see the stupid thing sitting smugly where it ought not to. I tried all that I could.. in vain. :(I had no option but to delete the code.. mind you, with a very heavy heart!Looked up the percentage of ppl who visit my blog who use Firefox. Was glad to see it was a whopping 51%!I did consider for a moment to let the code be. I thought I'd jus' let the IE users search for the links themselves. But I realised how stupid and selfish I was being. Ennayum madhichu sila paeru varaanga en blog-a paarka. Avangalayum thurathi vitta velai-ku aagathu!! :) So here's my sincere request (worth a shot!) to the other 49%.
Get Firefox!! :D
Friday, February 25, 2005
Hmmm.. couldn't resist putting this one up.This was the quiz I went to. And I'm somewhere in the pic. Spot me if ya can. :)Metro Plus - Coimbatoreps:Let this not distract you from the Rahman post below! ;)
I'll blog about the quiz another day!
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Endrendrum PunnagaiThis song's been looping over and over and over again in my winamp playlist. And I can't help grinning like a maniac. Still unable to believe how I passed, but hey, there are somethings in life you'd do better than question. I believe this is one of them! Bless that dear who corrected my papers. :)I'm feeling a strange void. I have so many things to blog about. I really can't figure out if my brain's unwilling to co-operate, or if I'm plain lazy. So I'm just going about sprucing my blog up a bit!The Comment-box has got a face lift. Babelfish translator now sits pretty on the sidepane. (How I wish it'd show me the result right here, on my page! I'm allowed an occasional bout of nappaasai, ain't I?) :)And I'm still stuck with two incidents I haven't blogged about.
Two really big people on my "Wish-I-could-meet-them" list already met. Is my life on fast forward or something? So this is what I've decided to do - Ask you guys what I should blog about next! :)
- The day I had coffee with AR Rahman
- My quiz, with Siddhartha Basu
Drop in your "vote", and lemme know if u like my new Comment-box! ;)
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Hmmm.. I really didn't wanna update my blog till my results were out. The wait has been frustratingly long. But the weekend's closing in, and I won't be in town. Figured I might as well blog about something I've been wanting to for quite a while. Scene : The bus stop Time : 9:30 A.M , Sunday I was waiting for a bus to Loyola. Getting pretty restless, I started twirling my cellphone between my thumb and middle finger. I almost dropped my cellphone in shock as I heard a voice to my right yell, "o*** dei! Cellphone vechirundha periya m***** nee?" Completely nonplussed, I turned around to see a pretty decently dressed chap on a bike looking straight at me with a furious look on his face. I didn't quite get it. The person standing in front of me seemed startled too. Guess he felt the guy was looking at him. That only confused me further. I couldn't quite make out who he was staring at! (Random notes of enlightenment: Fury adds a squint to ur eye!!) The-guy-in-front-of-me, let's jus call him X for my aching fingers' sake(!), was visibly offended. "Excuse me?" he said, his voice quavering lightly. He seemed guarded and didn't turn around to face the Biker dude (gotta make do with this name for the time being!) straight on. But nothing in the world could have prepared me for what followed next. My jaw almost hit the floor in bewilderment when the Biker dude retorted, "Enna da English-la peela vudarae? English-la pesina nee periya p******-ya?" I could feel every eye in the bus stop trained on the three of us. What was happening? Why was he picking up a fight for no reason? And all of a sudden, a silly thought crossed my mind. Silly, but every inch possible. Was this Candid Camera? Did I actually have a camera zooming in on me? Am I on TV?!? I absently ran my fingers through my hair. I was feeling extremely self-conscious! I just wanted to get the hell outta the place. (Random notes of enlightenment: My brain goes off into tangents in the opposite direction just when I want it to stay focussed. And yeah, the only way to make me wage a war against the unruly mop of hair atop my head is to train a camera on me!) Perhaps Mr. X was too numb with shock to have such crazy ideas floating around in his head. The Biker dude wasn't done with the expletives. He mouthed yet another string of well-chosen obscenities. Even passers-by stopped to gawk at the scene. Mr.X had had enough. He spluttered in indignation, pulled himself up to full height and started to approach the Biker dude. Aaah, now this was gonna get interesting! :) But things took yet another crazy twist as the manic look on the Biker dude's face flickered off. To be replaced by a slight hint of confusion. And then, full-blooded horror! Mr. X seemed puzzled at the reaction too. Things fell into place when the Biker dude slapped his forehead and exclaimed "phone-a vei da naaye. unaala en maaname pochu!". And even as he revved up his bike, and fled the scene, face red with embarassment, I caught a glimpse of the ear-piece of his Hands-free mobile set peep out from under his collar! :)
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Lemme try this the James Bond way..I'm scared.Shit scared.Inspite of all the inspirations for a blog that kept poppin' into my head over the last few days, I haven't dared to update my blog. And after all those comments in my doodle-board, you needn't be a rocket scientist to know why.My whole life seems to hang on these 7 letters now..Results.(Fine.. technically it's 6 letters. But I'm in no mood for a kadi.)I always get these results-around-the-corner symptoms. But this time around, it's been overwhelming. My academic degradation over the past few years is jus' about complete now, I guess.Thoughts like "Why did I have to study well in school? Why did I have to raise my folks' expectations?" have started to fill my head. Ok, Matriculation and Anna University are completely different ball-games. It still doesn't explain how I've gone from good to bad to worse to worst. English needs an updation to plot my plummeting graph. Double Comparitive and Comparitive Superlative Comparitive words like worser and worsester (sounds like a county!) have to be used to get the true essence of my woeful downward spiral.School's never managed to make me understand the term "exponential". College has managed to do it. Practically. Through my academic record. Exponentially downwards. In the third quadrant. Reverse bias condition-ku graph plot pannara maadhiri irukku. :( 83 to 69 in one semester. Sounds like an advertisement for a car's advanced braking feature.My old friends pooh-pooh my fears. They say "ivalo build-up vittutu, kadaseela nalla mark vaanguvae da nee. Unna pathi theriyaadha, kedi!". They don't seem to understand that if I've done my exam well, I'd be more than glad to tell them just that. My new friends (Blogging does have its own perks!) are a lot more sympathetic but still don't get my quandary. Never failed in a biggie. The first time I actually failed was in a stupid class test in my first year.
An arrear in a sem exam? Hope it never happens. If it does, I've mentally prepared myself for it. What I'm really scared of, now, is my parents' reaction. But more than that, their disappointment. I really don't think I'd be able to take the guilt.For once, I hope my old friends are right.
I'm extremely sorry about this post. Wouldn't say I didn't mean to sound depressed.. I needed a vent. My apologies to all those I might've offended along the way. I'm pretty certain I have!
And btw, Ferrari, I really appreciate what you did. Thanks a million!
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Even as the lecturer droned on, even as pens scurried across paper to at least doodle a toon, if not to take notes, even as those padipps gals in the first bench hung on to every word the lecturer was saying, I was fighting my own battle.
And it was one helluva battle. Every cell in my body groaned in agony. My mind was numbing with overwhelming frustration. My eyes watered. It took me all my willpower to keep from screaming out loud.
Ok, I'll cut to the chase.. I was having a bad cold (do good colds even exist?). My nose and my eyes were having a competition of their own - who leaked more! (My apologies to all those whose minds work in dirty ways. Nothing else took part!)
And if there's one thing worse than trying to get your eyes to stop watering, your nose to stop running and trying to atleast pretend to listen at the same time.. it's a sneeze that isn't.
A sneeze that isn't. Yup, I got it right. It's that lousy little sensation in your nose where you feel a sneeze building up.. when you feel your nose twitch like Jerry's when Tom places that big lump of cheese near his mouse-hole.. when your mind screams "Sneeze, dammit!".. and ultimately, you don't.
And moi, with my dust allergy, could only envision a tiny li'l dust speck doing a thaandav in my nose. The bloody thing was having a whale of a time tickling my extra-sensitive nasal passage, thumbing it's non-existant nose. Lucky for it. I'd have loved to take revenge.
Exactly then, ma'm spotted me rubbing my eyes. She probably thought I'd just woken up from a nice sleep. I don't blame her. My eyes looked bad! :) She wanted me to draw some circuit on the board. Great, just what I needed. More attention to my runny nose.
One squiggle. That's all I'd done on the board. And I could have sworn I heard an army of dust particles say "CHARGE" as they shot up my nose. The tickling worsened. My eyes watered even more. I was sniffing twice for every line I drew. I don't know if it was outta pity or impatience that she let me go, but she asked me to go back, and I didn't complain!
Two minutes later, I said something I'd never been more eager to say in my life before.
And an old kadi of mine to round this up..
As the Girlfriend song from Boys goes -
"Hutch endraal kerchief-ai neeta"... Airtel endraal enna seyya?
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Me, myself and styrene
Naah, no plastic surgeries for me. I couldn't think of any other title!
I got this message yesterday from my friend.
"Today is 'expressions day'! If you were to describe me in one word, what would that be?"
Thought this was the best way to pamper my ego, revel in some attention and yeah, get damaged a bit along the way too...
So I'm asking you folks the same question. If you were to describe me in a word, what would the word be? :)
She bulb adichufied when I replied "Is dud-head one word or two?" .. So I guess I hafta expect replies like that too! But go ahead, gimme your best shot. I'll take it. It's time I showed some kinda attitude. I'm getting a bit bored with all my self-depreciation.
I'll try my best to keep off the comments page. But I've got very li'l self-control. :)
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Dud-heads and mock-tails
What do you get when you put a bunch of sprightly kids amidst lotsa food, a comfy ambience and a celebratory mood?
Trouble. What else
*Camera zooms into my eye... (Hasn't this become the standard flashback routine after Titanic? Afterall, mosquito coils are outdated)*
Kaushik, my old school-mate, had shifted to Bangalore, and had come over for the vacations. Wanting to make the most of it, our old school-gang got together and decided to eat out someplace. After some serious haggling, we decided on Hot Chips. That was the best bet, really. An Old-Friends-Meet surely deserved better than a kaiyendhi bhavan, and posh restaurants surely deserved better than us!
Everyone threw a strange look at us as we trooped in noisily. I could have sworn I saw the eyes of the guy at the counter dilate in trepidation. We bypassed the standing, self-service counter and went straight into the AC hall. The counter guy's worst fears were confirmed.
Chuckles, PJs, and a lotta leg-pulling followed as we took up 2 huge tables to ourselves. I wouldn't have been too surprised if the person who took our orders banged his head on the wall the minute he entered the kitchen. We gave him an awful time as one of us kept changing his mind for every two orders successfully taken. That done, we went back to our chuckles, PJs and leg-pulling. :)
The eating part of the episode passed off quite uneventfully by our standards. Of course, there were the occasional dares of trying to suck in the entire plate of noodles in one go, and flicking a big chunk of paneer off the neighbour's plate while the victim looked the other way. The fun started much later. Each of us ordered a particular drink. A fresh lime soda (sweet), Pepsi, Mirinda, Pineapple juice, Grape juice, a coupla 7 UPs, Slice, and a few more I'm unable to recollect (hehe, what were you thinking? Alcohol?). But you get the drift. The minute the orders arrived, Krishna had a brainwave. "Dei, how about a cocktail? Each of us has ordered something different. What say?", he asked with a devilish glint in his eye. We liked the idea. We asked for an extra glass and all of us dutifully poured in a bit of our drink.
It turned a funny yellow colour. We looked quite apprehensive. But Krishna boldly stepped up. He had a tiny sip and his face contorted into expressions, funny yet scary. He looked up with a grin and yelped, "super-a irukku da!". Egged on by his enthusiasm, each of us risked a sip. He wasn't kidding! It really did taste good!
The person at the next table was giving us a very weird stare. All of us turned and looked at him. He got back to his food. :)
Krishna had another brainwave. "This needs some salt", he announced as he picked up the salt shaker and almost emptied its contents before we could as much as let out a whimper of protest. And then.. he went bezerk! The pepper was next to go. The waiter kept the bill and hurried away. He didn't dare look, I guess! The saunf wasn't spared either! This time, our apprehension got the better of us. Most of us gave it a miss. Krishna and Bharath dared a sip each, and to our horror, loved it! The person at the next table lost his appetite.
This was the beginning of our traditional cocktail ritual. The tradition went outta control at Krishna's birthday treat.
*Zoom in again*
A different restaurant this time. But in the same league as Hot Chips. The cocktail mixing was done with the kinda reverence you'd tend to associate with surgery.
"Salt"... "indha da"
"Pepper"... "here ya go"
"Ketchup"... "Dei! Are you crazy?!"
But that didn't stop him from reaching for the ketchup squeezy bottle. Krishna even plopped in a dollop of some gravy that had unfortunately been left remaining. The only thing the scene lacked was a big board saying "Mad Genius at work - Keep Out"! We realised things were going a bit outta control. Fortunately, we were done eating.. quite a few of us turned a fine shade of green looking at the scene.
He poured in everything but the kitchen sink. A collective scraping was heard as most of us dragged our chairs a bit further back. Krishna looked up with an almost maniacal look in his eye. "So who's trying it da? This must be the best cocktail we've ever made!". He fixed his gaze on Bharath who weakly yielded. Namash stepped up too, with a rather determined look in his eyes.
Krishna went first. His face broke out into the usual ambiguous contortions. He didn't speak though. Namash took a sip, and almost spat it out immediately. Bharath, resigning to fate, took a sip too. He had the most paavam look on his face I've ever seen.
We were grinning broadly now, as we asked, "So? What does it taste like?"
Bharath gave us a very piteous frown as he said, "Rasam! :( "
Last heard, the owner of the restaurant was still looking for the bunch of kids who'd completely ruined his glassware.