Magix 'n' Curses
..the argument continues

Saturday, January 29, 2005


I hate it when this happens. Hate hate hate. Especially since it makes me think some unknown guy's cocking a snook at me.

An Operator Logo mania has gripped my class. You ain't kewl unless ya have a custom made logo on yer cell in the place of an Airtel, Hutch or an Aircel.
(K.. I exaggerate at times.. But I like the concept of Operator Logo, alright?)

It's a pretty simple process too. Jus type

Mylogo [a number] [your logo]

and send it to 8243..
You receive your own tailor-made, straight-off-the-factory, hot and fresh Operator Logo. Hot, coz it'd have probably burnt a hole through your balance.

And so there I was.. All atingle, set to get my own Operator Logo. I feverishly punched

Mylogo 11 Curses

and sent it. Within a second, I got my own Operator Logo. It said "Curses" in a pretty cool font. A pang of guilt and a tinge of sorrow gripped me as I saw my Airtel logo disappear. My Brand-Loyalty induced dejection lasted a second perhaps. I was quite satisfied to hear an impressed "Oooh! Cool Font da" from my friend, K.

Maybe that did me in. Damn you, da! It's all coz of you!

I was totally psyched up. I didn't even realise I'd been relieved off a cool 3 bucks from my credit balance. What's the big deal, you might ask. My friends lost just 2 bucks, ok? Why was all this infuriating injustice doled out only to me? Oh, the cruel, cruel world! (hehe.. My friend S was right.. I should try out Drama!)

We figured each number was a font-type. My friend K had selected the number 7, and my friend T had picked 8. Font-type 8 was pretty straight and plain. 7 was all dotty. So far, 11 seemed the coolest. The inquisitive nut that I am, I HAD to check out the other fonts. And I had the perfect excuse to do it.. my alter-egos! I convinced myself that I shouldn't be offending sweet old Magix and decided to get him an operator logo too. Clickety-click went my thumb yet again...

Mylogo 2 Magix

And I was in for a rude shock. The damn thing gave me "Magix" in the dumbest font I've seen. Looked like it came straight off a typewriter! It looked something like this..


only, it was a 100 times worse.
Oooh, of all the the nerve! With a little beep came a smug announcement that 3 more Rupees had been deducted off my balance. Grrrrr...

Curiosity kills the cat, they say. I couldn't have agreed more. Not wanting to be laughed at for such a geeky Operator Logo, I decided to give it one last shot. It was a 2-pronged plan. Get a li'l more Oohs and Aahs (of admiration, I mean. Do you have a perverted mind or what!)... and check out one more font type. This time, I decided to do it for the original me, Harish.

Mylogo 19 Harish

Picked my Date-Of-Birth, feeling very certain it was gonna be one cool font. A bead of sweat ran down my eyebrow as I saw the Message sent confirmation. Time slowed down. It seemed so "Matrix-y" (for want of a word). And almost immediately my cell vibrated to lemme know I had a new message. An Operator Logo. Never mind the fact that I'd uselessly wasted 9 bucks now. The "Oooh"s make up for it, I thought.

With bated breath, I clicked Open when I saw the New Operator Logo Received message. My friend T noticed what I was doing. He looked at my cell in anticipation too. My cell seemed to take ages to open (the Matrix effect, I guess)... and Voila..

No, nothing wrong with ur eyes or my blog. I was jus showing you what I got. A @#&*^!@ blank screen! It was all I could do to not swear out loud and shot a "Grin, and ur history buddy.." glare at my friend T. He got the hint and struggled successfully to keep a poker-face.

But I knew my jig was up. I had to admit it, though I hated to. I gave him a very laboured grin as I asked him, "What do you call this font-type anyways?".

He looked me straight in the eye, shrugged, and said, "Invisible da".


Yeah yeah yeah.. the guffaws followed. There were embarassing announcements of "Hey, guess what! He got a blank logo!!"... And to make things worse, he reminded me I'd effectively paid 9 bucks for one silly logo that cruelly replaced the majestic "Airtel" logo I was so proud of. Sigh.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


There are moments. And there are moments.

Some are so artificial, so plastic, you'd wanna think it's rehearsed. And in all probability it would be true. (Like the cheesy lady who thinks she's a brilliant quizmaster and breaks out into squeals of "that.. is.. absolutely.. CORRECT!! Yaaayyyy!")

While some are so spontaneous, so from-the-heart, you feel your skin break out into gooseflesh.

I had such a moment yesterday. So did thousands of others, at the Light Music Show by KK at Saarang, IIT.

KK had got the crowd jiving already with numbers from Pal (his album), Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein, and Saathiya. And things were really getting hot, with people up on their feet and screaming their lungs out. So when he decided to sing the title song from Pal, I thought it'd seem a bit outta place. Didn't expect everyone to adjust to the sudden change in mood. But did we rise to the occasion or what!

Lighters, Matchboxes and a lotta other stuff were a strict no-no. And we did the next best thing we could. We waved our cellphones slowly to the rhythm. The organisers were quick to seize the moment, and turned off the lights. The sight took my breath away. A huge wave of pale blue, yellow and white was swaying in sync to the song. A moment of sheer exhilaration.

There was certainly one person who'd completely agree with me. KK. He went all mellow at the end of the song as he said "This is one of the best moments of my life. Thank you people."

I was moved too. Hmmm, I like this little thing called the feel-good factor. :)

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Goodbye :(

I'm not going anywhere.. so wipe that smile of relief off ur face!

It's my 1.5 KV UPS that's going. :(

It was probably the best thing about my computer.. ok, mebbe after my monitor. A huge UPS with a coupla car batteries for company, it gave me Uninterrupted Power Supply (what else?) for 1.5 - 2 hours straight!

Oh, how I enjoyed owning the object of envy! While the entire area blacked out, I'd be the lone ranger (hehe.. sounds corny!) on my machine, going about my work (as in browse, play, check mails!) as if nothing happened. The eerie glare of the monitor was more than enough to aid my jus' about okay typing skills. I still can't type with my eyes blind-folded.. and won't attempt to do so too.. It'd only remind me of that Vijaykanth song in Neranja Manasu!!

And I particularly enjoyed these conversations on Yahoo Messenger :

Me: Damn! Current poiduthu! :(
The Other Person: Appo how are u still online?
Me: UPS. :)
T.O.P: After all fifteen minutes... adhukku nee ippove log off pannalaam.
Me: 15 mins-a? pichai kaasu! I can stay on for 1.5 - 2 hrs!
T.O.P: What??!
Me: Yup.. it's connected to 2 car batteries.. that's where it gets its charge from..
Hello?? edhavadhu sollu da!

And now I dread having to switch off the comp as soon as the power fails. Can't gloat anymore. :( I'm stuck with the "pichai kaasu" 15-minute thundu-bulbum of a UPS now!!! :((

Biddin' adieu to my trusty UPS with a very heavy heart. I'll miss you.
Engirundhaalum vaazhga. :(

But I've something else to gloat about.. My (cell) connection's been credited with 30 days extra validity! :D I'm not complainin'! ;)

Thursday, January 20, 2005


Can't wait! :)

Click on the pic to visit the official site.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Entertainment... at its best

I've struck gold! I've found the best cure for boredom.

Anu Malik's interviews!

There's a story of a fallout between Udit Narayan and Anu Malik. And this is what AM had to say..

"Maybe since I'm more popular than him, he was taking all his frustration out on me."

Hmmm, this doesn't sound like the usual Anu "Reggie" Malik we know. Let's give him another go. So as The Hindu catches up with him, he revs up gradually.

"I would love to do a Mughal-e-Azam, it's right up my alley." He could "rock" them, but he wouldn't "wanna" ask them.

Aaah, that's more like it. Is there anything else you could have done?

"Given a chance, I would do a great job for a Bajirao Mastani, Mughal-e-Azam, or a Lagaan."

Yeah right! There's more in this interview with Rediff.

"I am the only composer who refuses films. I am talented enough to compose internationally."

Of course you are! Most of your songs have been huge hits internationally. Which was one reason why you "composed" it in Hindi in a way! Check out the number of err.. "inspirations"!

"Maybe if I wear a kurta and pyjama and sport a teeka, or turn elusive and work at nights, they will come to me!"

Cool, you can be sarcastic too! But that's not your style, mate.. let's get back to the REAL you.

"I have sung a Holi song and it was the most rocking Holi song ever!"
"Bheenge hooth tere [Murder] almost became a national anthem."

Bulls-eye! This has to be one of my favourite interviews! I'll get back to more excerpts from it later... (It's another issue that Bheege Hont Tere was a blatant lift from a Pakistani number)

"Post Refugee, I feel I'm the most original music composer."

Yeah, and I'm the King of Timbuctoo. He's back to his atrocious best in this interview with Indya.com...

"When people ask what original stuff I've composed, there's Kareeb or commercial films like Jaanam Samjha Karo, Soldier, and now, and Josh which is very me and very original."

And they're all listed in the Copied Songs site! :)

"I think it was former US President John F Kennedy that said, 'It is not what the country does for you, but what you can do for the country that is important.' "

I'll give you credit here, dude. Who cares if the words are wrong as long as the sentiment is right...

Another excerpt from the same interview:

Q: Border helped you get rid of the unfair allegation of being a copycat. Does Border hold a special place in your heart?

A: Yes. You used the right words, 'unfair allegation.'

If you ask me, the right words were 'a copycat'!

I'll get back to my favourite interview again... :)

(On being questioned about asking the producers for work)

"Asking for work is not marketing. In fact, I am helping the producers."

hehehe... I'll copy paste the rest. (I was ROTFL when I read it)

But why must a composer of your stature need to ask for work?

Work is work. If I have made a good tune, I will tell producers that I have made this song, would you like to hear it?
What's wrong in that? I am not cutting my price.
You must understand what is marketing. Are top companies not marketing their products? How do you buy any product?
If you don't see an advertisement of a product, how will you go and buy it?
You can't sit at home and expect people to find out about you.


(Interferes) Listen to me. Marketing is here to stay. The world must know about you. No one will come to your house and ask you: 'Hi! Anu Malik, how are you? What do you eat?'
Anu Malik has to go to top producers like Yash Chopra, Karan Johar, Sooraj Barjatya and Ram Gopal Varma.
He has to ask Yash Chopra, 'Sir, I want to meet you.' If he says he does not have the time, you say 'okay, some other time, sir. I have the talent. Use it.'
There is no harm in doing this.

I'll sign off with the most ironic quote of 'em all..

"Anu Malik has no ego."

Friday, January 14, 2005

The day of the Daughters-In-Law

Once upon a time, in a tiny village somewhere in South India, there lived a farmer called Raghu. So effectively, "ek gaon mein ek kisaan Raghu thaatha". He had two sons, who were good-for-nothing slobs. They lazed around all day, leaving the entire farming work to their dad. But they had a good excuse for being so. They were Siamese Twins.. of a different kind.

Maggie and Heinz (that's what Raghu named his sons, coz he was Kissan remember?) had an age difference of one year. How can they be Siamese Twins then, you may ask. But hey, farmers get very sentimental about their land, and often call it "Thai" land, likening it to a mother. That explains the Siamese part. The Twin part was a technical error. Blame the editor.

Anyways, they WERE Siamese twins in a way coz they were stuck together... at the palms! Talk of being different! The age difference is confusing you now, isnt it? Don't be confused. They'd been stuck at the palms ever since they, as kids, successfully but clumsily opened a Fevicol bottle after struggling with it for an hour, and then shook hands to celebrate their success.

So anyways, back to the story... Raghu was extremely poor. He couldn't even afford to buy bullocks for ploughing his field. His sons were extremely sad to see him struggle on his own like that, and wanted to do something about it. But what could they do? Their hands were tied.. err.. stuck. Besides, they were old enough to get married. And they really wanted to do something worthwhile for a change. (Hey!! I meant farming, you pervert!)

So both of them went to the city, hand in hand. They desperately wanted to be come unstuck. They even tried their luck at Univercell, the cellphone shop, coz they promised "Hands-Free" with every purchase. Pity they didn't have money. They hadn't really given a thought to the city-bred way of thinking though. People were giving them extremely weird stares to see them walking hand-in-hand everywhere they go. Ah, the bliss of being an innocent villager. They really didn't have to explain to everyone that they were neither happy, nor gay.

Maggie racked his brains. What do illiterate, poor, good-for-nothing people do in the city? And then, he had a brainwave. Join politics, of course! So the brothers decided to join politics that very day. They had an intense debate on which party to join, which basically meant they tossed a coin. But tragedy struck then. The coin rolled down a drain, and that was last rupee they had on them. They were penniless now, and politics really was the only option. But the second tragedy struck when the brothers, who were united in every way (pun intended!), differed on the choice of political party. Each of them was interested in a different party, and the two parties were the biggest rival factions in the history of politics. They couldn't even join the different parties coz, duh, they were stuck!

Meanwhile, the entire city had heard about the brothers. The power of television media. And you can trust them to make a Tsunami of a gentle ripple (A mountain of a mole-hill is so cliched). The political parties got wind of the situation, and thought they'd make for a brilliant campaign. That's basically the campaign strategy nowadays, isn't it? Who cares about inspirational speeches from awe-inspiring leaders? People want entertainment, and entertainment they'll get! And it really doesn't matter if someone mistakes them for a new circus in town, as long as they get noticed.

Arrgh, I digress too much. Back to the story... The leaders from both the political parties came with vetthalai-paaku-pazham to invite the brothers to join their party. The brothers were stumped. They didn't know what to do. So they left the decision to the party leaders, with the only stipulation being "Buy one, get one free". And the party leaders too, who were known for their diplomacy and brilliant decision making skills, got to work immediately. Each grabbed a brother and pulled them to their side! The entire party got together on each side, to help their respective leader. A massive tug-of-war ensued. The TV media were delighted! They did a live telecast of the tug-of-war. Of course, the television channels weren't free from politics either. Each channel, belonging to a political party, announced that their party was winning, in the live commentary.

Never underestimate the power of Indian Politics. They promise changes and improvement in areas that've never seen progress for over 20 years. But for a change, they did just that! As the tug-of-war became more fierce with each passing minute, and as more parties joined each side to form kootanis, the brothers were starting to feel the pressure. And lo! They came unstuck! The political parties hit the ground hard (which is not new to them, anyways) and the brothers, elated at the sudden turn of events, made a run for it (they didn't forget the vetthalai-paaku-pazham, though)! They caught the first bus to their village, and were eager to break the good news to their dad. Don't worry about having no money, travelling "without" is not an alien concept in Tamil Nadu.

Raghu had tears of joy flowing down his cheek, when he saw his sons walk a metre apart (Ironic, eh?). He decided to get them married at the earliest. Now the sons had tears of joy flowing down their cheeks! He found them two suitable brides (who were NOT siamese twins.. I'm not narrating the story of JEANS, ok?) ... The wedding wasn't done in great pomp and ceremony, and there were no special effects to show a dinosaur wishing the newly married couples a happy married life either. But everyone was happy.

Their happiness, though, was short-lived. They got back to their dreary lives. Farming was becoming increasingly difficult, and the sons didn't have an excuse to laze around anymore. So they did something to make their dad proud. They volunteered to be the bullocks! That was the least they could do, after years of "dhadi maadungala! velai pannunga da!" shouts from their dad. It looked a scene straight outta Mother India. The sons derived great satisfaction from finally being of some help to their father, and Raghu derived great satisfaction from wielding the whip.

The wives of the bullocks.. err.. brothers, were deeply pained to see the scene though. They didn't like what they saw. How dare Raghu whip their husbands? How dare he subject their husbands to this kinda torture? They bristled at the sheer injustice of it all.. afterall, wasn't a wife supposed to be doing all that! But they could only mope, and shed copious tears. Something they'd specialised in.. a result of watching mega-serials from 7-11 P.M.

But one day, all the hard work paid off. As they were ploughing, they hit something hard. A little digging unearthed a treasure chest! Right in their field! They performed a little war dance to celebrate their good fortune. They didn't dare shake hands anymore. With the money, they were able to buy themselves a pair of sturdy bullocks, and ofcourse, a TV to watch those wretched mega-serials. They decided to celebrate the day every year. The most excited were Raghu's daughters-in-law, who were happy to get their husbands all to themselves, and yeah.. not to forget the television. All this happened the day right after "the festival of harvest".

And that is why people say "Happy Maatuponngal" (Happy Daughters-in-Law) the day after Pongal! :)

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Caught in the act - Not Quite :)

I'm a Dog-lover. And my friends laugh out loud everytime I say that. :)

Anyways, this post doesn't exactly fit into the "Caught in the act" series.. but I liked the title!


So there I was, fiddling with my cellphone, completely oblivious of what was happening in class. I wasn't too interested in Artificial Intelligence today. I'd received a slew of jokes, and I was finding it increasingly tough to control my grin with each joke.


There's this cute pup that comes running to us when we eat lunch. We prefer eating outside the canteen, and the pup enjoys all the attention and more importantly, the food it gets! I've even played with it once, only to realise it seemed more interested in my shiny ID Card dangling from my neck. And to think of the number of times I've bragged about how dogs always find me fun. :(


I don't know how it managed it... but the pup actually climbed all the way up to the third floor. And it seems it was more interested in A.I than we were and happily settled down at the door. All of a sudden, a gang of students chorused, "HARISH!!!".

Did I go red in the face or what!


If any of my classmates read this, a request... DON'T EVER CATCH ME UNAWARES LIKE THAT!!! I almost died of guilt!

I really don't know whether to feel embarassed or proud that I was the first person to come to mind when they saw a dog! :)

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Of close shaves and sickening crowds...

Guess I had a tad too much action yesterday.

It all started with my dad, who's normally extremely circumspect about technology, asking me to teach him how to operate my cellphone. That took me by surprise, actually. I've been asking him for a cellphone for over a year, and he's always been denying my request citing reasons on the lines of "Cellphones are evil". Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating.. But he belongs to the old school of thought. And I guess that explains why everything in my house is older than me. Except perhaps my TV, that's now 10 years old already!

Anyways, I've been trying to convince him on the "importance of having a cellphone" for over a year now. He didn't even relent when he saw a guy, with a torn vest and a barely-there lungi, fish out a cellphone and yap away to glory. But he's slowly getting rid of his prejudice.

So he asked me how to operate my cell. And I told him how to make a call. And then, I almost died of a heart attack... The cellphone vibrated! Awful timing for a message! I started to panic like that lady in the stupid Hamam ad. What if it was a stupid forward? What if it was a lewd joke?! Or.. gulp.. what if it was my friend pulling my leg about something extremely embarassing? I was shaken outta my reverie by my dad reading out "1 message received". He wanted to open it. I tried snatching it outta his hand, telling him, "enakku vandha message pa!".. He was too quick for me. I guess this made him all the more curious! My sis was looking at the scene with a bemused expression on my face, and broke into a wide grin lookin' at my face. I resigned to fate and told him what to do. I had my fingers crossed... I crossed my toes too, for good measure.

It was just Praveen telling me how much he'd earned outta his Google Ads! Phew!!

So as I'd promised him, this post is to puganzhndhufy him! Praveen nallavan, vallavan, ellarum avan blog-a poi paarungooo!! :)

The second part of the day was worse.. I sincerely hope no other boy has to go thru such a horrifying experience. It was sheer torture! Okie, I'll cut the buildup.. My sis wanted to go shopping in T.Nagar, and me, being the sweet brother that I am, agreed to give her company. I regret the decision. :(

Maddening crowds, shops everywhere, pedestrians who couldn't care less.. CHAOS! This was my first ever trip to the area.. that perhaps explains my angst. My sis was having a whale of a time looking at stuff and then deciding against buying it. I had my own doubts if she actually knew what she wanted to buy. Pondy Bazaar was worse! She stopped at every damn stall, while I jus' stood shaking my head, ruing my decision. By the end of it all, my doubts vanished. She really did have no clue about what she wanted to buy and was shopping by impulse! :(

Hmmm, I should get myself a new hobby.. like bird-watching, perhaps! :)

Did I forget to mention I bought myself 3 new shirts and had super food at Mansukh's?

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Caught in the act - Part 2

Here we go again! :) The much-awaited sequel to this one! (Hey! Don't nod your head like that! Have some kinda pity on me, will ya?!)

And remember how I'd taken care not to speak ill of my lecturer last time? I'm not really worried about it now!

He's a pretty funny chap, actually. He tries to be all rough, tough, macho. But if you remember one of the comments from last time, you'll know why it's so funny. Try as he might, he just can't intimidate people! And I'm one of the "select few" who've been "targetted" by him ever since we first saw each other. He just can't stand me. Wonder why. I'm not one to give up either. With all my kozhuppu, I just ask him doubts I'm dead sure he has no clue about. My friend A thinks I suffer from a pretty heavy dose of Tit-for-Tat mentality. :)

So where was I? Yeah.. It was him again. My nemesis returns. (I'll call him Mr. England for convenience's sake!)

I was writing my record in all earnest before classes began. I'd got my friend's observation (or obsi, as we call it) and was copying down the readings furiously. I was also quite busy drawing the graph on a stupid piece of paper called a Log Sheet. I've jus been introduced to it. And believe me, it's a pain! Don't ask me why I hadn't finished it earlier. It's another sad story. There are three students to a batch, and I have two gals for batchmates.
(Yup. I got the emoticon right. Don't blink. And no! Naan avan illa!!)

So Mr. England walked into a virtually empty class beaming ear to ear. Even as I sighed and attempted to put away the Obsi and graphs, I noticed quite a lotta students were missing. And he didn't give any indications of starting his class. He just hung around waiting for 'em to troop in. "What the heck?", I thought, and decided I'd continue with my graph. A lil while later, I heard my friend hiss, "Dei, varaaru da". I saw Mr. England glare at me, and figured it was wisest to put it all away now. And before I knew it, he was standing next to me and was trying hard to wrest the book outta my hands! Imagine. Two adults playing tug-of-war with a poor 80-page note! I was quite amused. I didn't let go, and tried to pull it back! :D Maybe he got sick of the little game. He screwed up his face in intense concentration and gave a mighty heave. I decided to let go this time. But no, he didn't lose balance and trip over. (Damn!)

He gave me a fierce glare and said, "Harish. Just you leave the class. I don't want you in my class hereafter." And he went on to do something pretty impressive (by his standards). He flung the notebook towards the door. It soared through a crazy arc with its pages flapping madly. It almost looked as if it was trying to stay afloat! The graphs that I'd hurriedly shoved into it scattered in all directions.

I was being told not to sit in his class. And he thought he was punishing me! Funnily enough, I didn't feel bad at all. I found the whole situation funny. Guess there were a reason for it.

It was my friend's obsi that he threw!! I had to try really hard not to think of the look of horror on her face, and picked them up with a very serious expression on my face. (Tip#1 : Biting your tongue really helps if u wanna control a chuckle! Tip#2: Sometimes it's a lot easier to just let go! Chuckle. A sliced tongue hurts. Real bad!)

Anyways, there are a few morals of the story I picked up along the way.

1. Every single time I've been caught, I haven't uttered a word. So there's a lesson in that. Never ever shut up.

2. The first time I got kicked outta class was in my 1st year. On my birthday. And I got kicked outta class today, on Rahman's birthday. There must be a connection in this too. Don't go to college on ppl's birthdays!

3. Every time I blog about being "Caught in the act" (I need a trademark sign for this!!), Aswin is conspicuous by his absense! Daily college-ku vandhu thulai da!!

4. And yeah! Take your damn cell phone with you when you go outta the class!! :(

Happy Birthday, Thalaiva

No odes. No super-senti greetings. No exaggerated flattery. No self-immolation(!!).

Jus a fan.. wishing you a rocking birthday.

Happy B'day, thalai.

[Any copyright violations regarding the title will be pesi-theerthufied by Ferrari and me! No tensans!]

Monday, January 03, 2005

Going gaga over Rahman

[A million thanks to zz of tfmpage for the link.]

Made for a super read! :) At least for me!

Check this out. Richard Corliss all praise for Rahman in the Times [ugh!] Time Magazine.