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Magix 'n' Curses
..the argument continues

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Contact Lens


Something that someone as unhygienic as me wouldn't even dream of wearing.
But it's got a rather interesting history.

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Disclaimer:
The following post is almost entirely the imagination of the author, and made in jest. No offense or disrespect meant to any person, living or dead. My apologies to those I might inadvertently offend along the way. Idhukku melayum evanavadhu vandhu "These are great ppl. How dare u insult them!"-nu sonna ennaala onnum panna mudiyaadhu!

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It was the year 1508. Leonardo Da Vinci, when he was not making small painting errors that we'd later go on to fawn over and try to decode the "hidden meaning" of, was busy trying to think ahead of his time and being called eccentric in the process. The poor man had trouble sleeping though. He had terrible nightmares. His in-house psychiatrist had suggested he draw what he dreamt so that he could put the nightmare behind him and start the day afresh.

This was how his fear of bats, and his affair with his rich landlord's wife got translated on to paper. He was haunted so much by bats, that he'd sketch its skeletal structure every morning and imagine that he was breaking it bone by bone, joint by joint. He also had recurring dreams of being "caught in the act"(!!) by the landlord, and how he'd jump out through the window clutching at the curtain in a desperate bid to save his neck, and how the curtain performed the dual purpose of parachuting him slowly to the ground floor and giving him something to cover himself with as he fled for his life through the streets of Florence.




He later refuted all claims of having nightmares and proclaimed that these were flying machines invented by him. Ha! It takes more than that to convince super intelligent creatures like me.

But that's not the point of this post, is it? It's about how one of his nightmares went on to inspire him to do something so ahead of his time, we'd desperately wish to believe that the historians were kidding. (For a change, I believe him too) It was quite a vivid nightmare. Painting the church window... accidentally knocking the glass with his heavy brush... a glass piece getting embedded in his eye... He'd wake up screaming everytime. Taking the advice of his psychiatrist, he started sketching the nightmare, and tadaaaaa, that's how the concept of contact lenses first came into existance. A "believe it or not" moment, if ever there was one.

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In 1936, William Feinbloom, an optometrist from New York, fabricated the first plastic contact lenses. This was where JFK came in. Even while he was at Harvard, he knew that he'd become the American President one day. But he had a major drawback. Of being short sighted. Not that he didn't have long term visions for the country, but just the small glitch of having a power of -2.5 in both his eyes. And he knew the Americans would never elect a guy wearing specs.

[Silence falls. Read the following paragraph in the same spooky manner that the Osment kid says "I see dead people"]
No one ever knew this dark side of JFK's life. The historians took all possible measures to erase this piece of trivia out of the books and studies of American History. But it was all in vain, as the brilliant, charming, clever (..err, ok, I'll cut it out) author of this post saw through the entire scam and is about to bring a startling revelation out into the open.

Hold on to your seats folks, coz what I'm about to say is perhaps one of the biggest disclosures in the history of American Presidents. Ok, make that second biggest. Even I'd vote for the Clinton episode any day!! :)


*drum rolls*
JFK was the first person in the world to wear contact lenses.
Yup. I'm serious.
Before that, he was called John F Kannaadi.